Many individuals in today’s
society struggle with the fact that they are different. Or at least that is
what many kids think because they are constantly being bullied. I am sure many
people have been or know someone who has been bullied, and if not you are
lucky.
Bullying
is when someone or a group of people with more power repeatedly and
intentionally cause hurt or harm to an individual or group of people less
powerful. I am an individual who knows exactly what being bullied feels like. I
try not to talk about it because I’ve always been embarrassed by it. I decided
that it was time to get everything out on the table because I am sure I’m not
the only one whose been bullied. I even think someone can probably benefit from
my experience or relate. The American Justice Department bullying statistics
show that one out of every for kids will be bullied throughout their
adolescence. There are other bullying statistics that show that 77% of students
have admitted that they have been victims of some type of bullying or another.
This is very sad that number is almost 80% so that means over half of students
have been hurt or harmed by a peer. ABC news has an article on president Obama’s
bullying documentary on Cartoon Network which can be found here. This
article contains some of president Obama’s personal views about bullying also
with some important statistics.
I think that when most people
think of bullying the think of being physically abused. However, bullying can
also be done verbally. Being verbally abused can be just as painful as being
physically abused. When I was a little girl there was a saying that, “sticks
and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. Every time I would
get into a disagreement with someone I would rub these words in their face. I
think that as I grew older this saying became a myth in my mind. Yes sticks and
stones do hurt but words can hurt just as bad.
I started to become a victim of bullying my senior year of high
school. When I was in high school there were many different social clicks
there. It was just like the movies where you have the freaks, nerds, and the
cool girls or boys. All my life I was use to going to school in the same
district but when my mom decided to move that was a different story. I had to
make new friends and everything my freshman year. My freshman year I had no
friends and got use to the fact that I was going to be eating lunch alone. Then
when my sophomore year came I started to develop new friendships. These people
were cool to me but not to everyone else in the school which put me in the freaks
category. By the time I was a junior in high school my social life had
changed
and I thought it was for the good. I had finally accomplished my goal to get in
with the girls that were cool, sexy, and fun. It started by them asking me to
hang out with them, and that turned into an amazing relationship to me at that
time. In my mind I felt like now I have friends, I won’t feel alone, and better
yet everyone will know me. When I sat at their lunch table I
observed a lot. They all talked about other students, dressed a certain way,
and they would rebel against authority. After I noticed this stuff I still gave
in to the peer pressure by keep them as associates of mine.
After
watching my new friends bully the underclassmen, I started to reminisce because
that use to me in their situation. I was looked down on by them, and given evil
stares. I would always want to say something but I was afraid of how my
“friends” would look at me. So I sat back and did nothing but look sad, and
just think. Our friendships started to develop and I just went with the flow.
We all decided to go to the same college. At the time I was so excited but now
when I look back at it I was so stupid.
This new relationship with the
“cool girls” lasted for about a year and a half. My second semester during
senior year in high school was one of the most difficult times I have dealt
with. I
had classes with all four of my new “best friends”. This is when I found out I
had to make sacrifices to stay friends with them. One day we were in chemistry
class and the work was extremely hard so I decided to get help I did, and got
my work done. After I finished one of my friends asked to see my paper so she
could copy it and turn it in on time. For the first time I said no. I felt like
I worked hard to understand the work and she could’ve did the same. When this
day came I realized I was being used because I was smart. After that day no one
wanted to hang with me anymore because I didn’t look out for my friend. This is
when I learned I didn’t really have true friends, because instead of copying my
work they could’ve asked me to help them. This was the solution to the problem
in my opinion but not theirs.
I went that whole
second semester feeling alone and betrayed. But what made things worst was the
simple fact that I had to go away to college with them, and it was too late to
change into a different school. After graduation I didn’t hear from any of them
until one night about 11:00 pm when I got a threating call. I was sleep and one
of my old friends called me, and asked did I want to fight her because she
heard that I was going around telling people I want to beat her up. If anyone
knew me they would know that I was never the type to go around and look for
trouble I was laid back and quiet. That whole summer I got calls with her
trying to fight me and everything. The girls wanted to beat me up and fight one
on one. I told my mother and she tried her best to stop it. I was afraid I couldn't even go anywhere without feeling scared.
I avoided her the whole
summer until it was move in day at my college we all ended up living on the
same floor. Our parents attempted to sit us down to squash everything but soon
as they left I became verbally attacked and received threats. Come to find out
it was one of the girls making everything up because she was afraid of the
other girl. So she decided to put the blame on me after starting the rumor
herself so she wouldn’t get beat up or lose her friend. I didn’t feel safe it
was two against one every single day I woke up. I was in a deep depression to
the point I wouldn’t come out of my room or eat. My roommate did her own thing
so I never got a chance to express my feelings. After seeking the police and
counseling I still didn’t feel safe because there wasn't enough being done in
my opinion. I moved into another building and that’s when they even started to
come over there and intimidate me. After
this continued and nothing was being done I decided to leave the college for
good because it was either stay there and take the pain or leave and get myself
together.
When
I left I received a phone call that changed my life. My roommate called and
told me that the two girls had gotten beaten up by her and her friends once
they found out that I was being bullied, and left the school because of it. The
girls no longer tried to contact me and send threats anymore. I even ran into
one of them in a store, and she just looked at me. I no longer had to feel like
she would come for me again because she got what she deserved. Yes this sound
awful but karma is real to me and what goes around comes around. Bullies have
to learn how to stop at some point even if it means getting a taste of their
own medicine. I learned my lesson to always stand up for myself, and seek extra
help. It is important to defend yourself because if you appear as a rug people
will walk all over you. Remember if you don’t stand for anything you will fall
for everything. Marilyn Monroe has a quote that says, “Wanting to be someone
else is a waste of the person you are”.
Be yourself hangout with people you love and who will accept you for
you.
Citations:
Picture
1: http://rollingout.com/criminal-behavior/twelve-year-old-connecticut-girl-arrested-for-bullying/
Bullying
definition: http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/
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